Upside Down Divorce®
A Child-Centered Alternative to Traditional Divorce
The Upside Down Divorce®
is an Alternative Divorce for Parents. It’s a Peaceful, Child-Focused Way to Separate.
Your children really can be okay.
Yes, divorce brings sadness and change, but it doesn’t have to be toxic. When done with intention, your children can thrive with two loving homes, emotionally healthy parents, and a secure foundation for the future.
Most divorcing couples want that.
They just don’t know it’s possible.
“I didn’t think we could agree on anything, but this process gave us structure and hope. We see our children at the start of a healthy adjustment, and we are working together as co-parents.”
— Upside Down Divorce® Client
How the Upside Down Divorce® Works
Step 1
Talk to Your Kids with Confidence
Step 1
You’ll start with developing a clear plan for when and how to talk with your children about the divorce, so they feel loved and secure from the very beginning.
Step 1
Build Your Parenting Plan (6 sessions)
Step 2
With the support of a neutral therapist, you’ll work together to create a detailed parenting agreement that covers:
- A joint parenting mission statement that keeps kids front and center. This becomes your north star—something you’ll return to when emotions run high.
- Weekly parenting time schedules
- Holidays, birthdays, and summer vacations
- Communication boundaries and expectations
- Rules around new partners, alcohol use, and safety
- Decision-making protocols when you disagree
- Plus, many of the nuanced decisions you may not have thought of, but we’ll guide you through every step
In addition to the parenting plan specifics, we will provide support and guidance for:
- Developing a clear plan for when and how to talk with your children about the divorce, so they feel loved and secure from the very beginning.
- Developing a plan for the time and way to let your family, your friends and your community know about the divorce, including on social media.
- Creating a strategic plan for HOW to talk with extended family and friends and how to manage their reactions to the divorce.
- Assessing if your children have additional needs, and coaching you through how to help them and whether or not they need outside support.
- Learning how to communicate with your future co parent (i.e., current spouse) when concerns about the children are noted.
- Any other concerns you have for your family during the divorce process.
Step 2
Plan Your Finances with Intention
Step 3
We partner with Certified Divorce Financial Analysts (CDFAs) who specialize in child-centered divorce. They help you fairly and thoughtfully divide assets, negotiate child and spousal support, and structure finances to reduce conflict and tax burden.
Step 3
Finalize It Legally Without the Drama
Step 4
After all the major decisions are made, a brief legal consultation wraps it up, ensuring your agreements are complete, comprehensive, and legally filed.
Ready for a Peaceful Alternative To Traditional divorce?
Is an Alternative Divorce Right for You?
An alternative divorce is for you if...
- You want your kids to know they are loved by both parents
- You’re willing to show up and communicate, even if it’s hard
- You’d rather invest in healing than hostility
- You want to reduce emotional and financial damage
It’s probably not for you if..
- You’re determined to “win” the divorce
- There’s an ongoing high-conflict custody battle
- One or both partners refuse to engage in a collaborative process
“I was worried we’d fight over every detail. But this process helped us stay focused on our kids, not our conflict.”
— Upside Down Divorce® Dad
Ready for a Peaceful Alternative To Traditional divorce?
Traditional Divorce vs. Alternative Divorce
Traditional Divorce
Alternative (Upside Down) Divorce
Typical Cost
- Traditional Divorce
$30,000–$200,000+
- Upside Down Divorce®
$9,000-$12,500
- $4,000-$5,500 for Step one Parenting Plan.
- $5,000-$7,000 for Step two and three financial plan and final attorney fees.
Timeline
- Traditional Divorce
18–24+ months
- Upside Down Divorce®
3-6 months
Process
- Traditional Divorce
Conflict-driven & attorney-led
- Upside Down Divorce®
Collaborative & therapist/financial expert-guided
Kids’ Experience
- Traditional Divorce
Often feel stuck in the middle
- Upside Down Divorce®
Centered in every decision
Emotional Toll
- Traditional Divorce
High stress, blame, and resentment
- Upside Down Divorce®
Supportive, structured communication
Decision-Making
- Traditional Divorce
Negotiated by opposing attorneys
- Upside Down Divorce®
Made together with guidance from neutral experts
Outcome
- Traditional Divorce
Often adversarial
- Upside Down Divorce®
Respectful and sustainable parenting relationships
Ready for a Peaceful Alternative To Traditional divorce?
Pricing & What's INcluded
$4,000 Flat Fee
What's included:
- 6 sessions with a therapist
- Therapist-drafted Parenting Plan
- Sessions include a Personalized Communication Plan for telling your kids about the divorce
Additional sessions if needed:
$1,500
- 3 additional hours of therapist-guided sessions
$5,000-$7,000
To our financial and legal partners.
These fees are paid separately to the financial professional and attorney after completing the Upside Down Divorce parenting plan.
“We paid less than a tenth of what our friends spent and walked away with a plan we actually use.”
— Former Upside Down Divorce® Client
Ready for a Peaceful Alternative To Traditional divorce?
Real Families. Real Stories.
Sarah & Juan
After discovering an affair, Sarah was devastated. But instead of entering a legal war, they chose to protect their kids. With support, they created a parenting plan and moved forward in a way their children could feel safe and loved.
Matt & Tina
They mutually decided to divorce through couples counseling. By using the Upside Down Divorce method, they processed grief while creating a plan rooted in respect for each other and their children.
Jennifer & Ben
Years of resentment made collaboration feel impossible. But through facilitated sessions, they developed tools for co-parenting and reached a plan that protected their kids from being caught in the middle.
Ready for a Peaceful Alternative To Traditional divorce?
FAQs
How long does an alternative divorce take?
Most families complete the process in 3-6 months.
What if we can’t agree?
That’s why we’re here. The experts in the process are skilled at helping families work through difficult conflicts. Your Parenting Plan is built for when things get hard, so you have clear ground rules, not ongoing battles.
Why not just do it ourselves?
There are a number
of complicated decisions to make that need to be made with professional guidance, especially when couples are going through the emotions and stress of a divorce. Also, most people have not created a parenting plan before and don’t understand how to
do it correctly – it would be like trying to draft your own will or another type of legal contract.
What if my ex isn’t honest about money?
Our financial partners ensure full transparency by collecting documents and building trust through a structured, neutral process.
Ready for a Peaceful Alternative To Traditional divorce?
About the creators
Andrew & Tracy McConaghie
We created Upside Down Divorce® after decades of working with families harmed by traditional divorce. As therapists, we’ve witnessed the long-term damage high-conflict separations can cause, even decades later.
Andrew is a couples counselor. Tracy is a child therapist. Both of us are trained in collaborative divorce, and together, we’ve spent over 25 years helping families separate with compassion, clarity, and lasting respect.
- We’ve seen that divorce doesn’t have to destroy families.
- We’ve seen that your children can grow up secure and thriving, even after a divorce.
- We’ve seen that most couples want a healthier way forward…
- They just don’t know it exists.
“I used to think divorce had to be ugly. Upside Down Divorce proved me wrong.”
— Former Upside Down Divorce Client
Books by Andrew & Tracy McConaghie
Free Alternative Divorce Resources
How to Talk to Your Kids About Divorce
Give your children a clear, loving message—right from the start.