Upside Down Divorce®A Child-Centered Alternative to Traditional Divorce
The Upside Down Divorce® is an Alternative Divorce for Parents. It's a Peaceful, Child-Focused Way to Separate.
Schedule an Appointment
Your children really can be okay.
Yes, divorce brings sadness and change, but it doesn't have to be toxic. When done with intention, your children can thrive with two loving homes, emotionally healthy parents, and a secure foundation for the future.
Most divorcing couples want that.
They just don't know it's possible.
“I didn't think we could agree on anything, but this process gave us structure and hope. We see our children at the start of a healthy adjustment, and we are working together as co-parents.”
— Upside Down Divorce® Client
WHO YOU’LL WORK WITH
Andrew and Tracy McConaghie created the Upside Down Divorce® process after decades of helping families through divorce. Today they guide couples through it alongside Crystal Bradshaw, LPC, NCC.
Meet the team →How the Upside Down Divorce® Works
Schedule an AppointmentStep 1
Build Your Parenting Plan (6 sessions)
With the support of a neutral therapist, you'll work together to create a detailed parenting agreement that covers:
- A joint parenting mission statement that keeps kids front and center. This becomes your north star—something you’ll return to when emotions run high.
- Weekly parenting time schedules
- Holidays, birthdays, and summer vacations
- Communication boundaries and expectations
- Rules around new partners, alcohol use, and safety
- Decision-making protocols when you disagree
- Plus, many of the nuanced decisions you may not have thought of, but we’ll guide you through every step
In addition to the parenting plan specifics, we will provide support and guidance for:
- Developing a clear plan for when and how to talk with your children about the divorce, so they feel loved and secure from the very beginning.
- Developing a plan for the time and way to let your family, your friends and your community know about the divorce, including on social media.
- Creating a strategic plan for HOW to talk with extended family and friends and how to manage their reactions to the divorce.
- Assessing if your children have additional needs, and coaching you through how to help them and whether or not they need outside support.
- Learning how to communicate with your future co parent (i.e., current spouse) when concerns about the children are noted.
- Any other concerns you have for your family during the divorce process.
Step 2
Plan Your Finances with Intention
We partner with Certified Divorce Financial Analysts (CDFAs) who specialize in child-centered divorce. They help you fairly and thoughtfully divide assets, negotiate child and spousal support, and structure finances to reduce conflict and tax burden.
Step 3
Finalize It Legally Without the Drama
After all the major decisions are made, a brief legal consultation wraps it up, ensuring your agreements are complete, comprehensive, and legally filed.
Is an Alternative Divorce Right for You?
An alternative divorce is for you if...
- ✓You want your kids to know they are loved by both parents
- ✓You’re willing to show up and communicate, even if it’s hard
- ✓You’d rather invest in healing than hostility
- ✓You want to reduce emotional and financial damage
It's probably not for you if..
- ✗You’re determined to “win” the divorce
- ✗There’s an ongoing high-conflict custody battle
- ✗One or both partners refuse to engage in a collaborative process
“I was worried we'd fight over every detail. But this process helped us stay focused on our kids, not our conflict.”
— Upside Down Divorce® Dad
Traditional Divorce vs. Alternative Divorce
- $4,000-$5,500 for Step one Parenting Plan.
- $5,000-$7,000 for Step two and three financial plan and final attorney fees.
Typical Cost
- $4,000-$5,500 for Step one Parenting Plan.
- $5,000-$7,000 for Step two and three financial plan and final attorney fees.
Timeline
Process
Kids’ Experience
Emotional Toll
Decision-Making
Outcome
Pricing & What's Included
$4,000 Flat Fee
What's included:
- ✓6 sessions with a therapist
- ✓Therapist-drafted Parenting Plan
- ✓Sessions include a Personalized Communication Plan for telling your kids about the divorce
Additional sessions if needed:
$500 each
- ✓50-minute therapist-guided sessions, added as needed beyond the initial six
$5,000-$7,000
To our financial and legal partners.
These fees are paid separately to the financial professional and attorney after completing the Upside Down Divorce® parenting plan.
“We paid less than a tenth of what our friends spent and walked away with a plan we actually use.”
— Former Upside Down Divorce® Client
Real Families. Real Stories.
Sarah & Juan
After discovering an affair, Sarah was devastated. But instead of entering a legal war, they chose to protect their kids. With support, they created a parenting plan and moved forward in a way their children could feel safe and loved.
Matt & Tina
They mutually decided to divorce through couples counseling. By using the Upside Down Divorce® method, they processed grief while creating a plan rooted in respect for each other and their children.
Jennifer & Ben
Years of resentment made collaboration feel impossible. But through facilitated sessions, they developed tools for co-parenting and reached a plan that protected their kids from being caught in the middle.
About the Creators
Andrew & Tracy McConaghie
We created Upside Down Divorce® after decades of working with families harmed by traditional divorce. As therapists, we've witnessed the long-term damage high-conflict separations can cause, even decades later.
Andrew is a couples counselor. Tracy is a child therapist. Both of us are trained in collaborative divorce, and together, we've spent over 25 years helping families separate with compassion, clarity, and lasting respect.
- We’ve seen that divorce doesn’t have to destroy families.
- We’ve seen that your children can grow up secure and thriving, even after a divorce.
- We’ve seen that most couples want a healthier way forward…
- They just don’t know it exists.
Meet Your Upside Down Divorce® Team
The therapists who will guide you through the process—in their own words.
Andrew McConaghie, LCSW
Co-Creator, Upside Down Divorce®
I am the co-owner of McConaghie Counseling in Alpharetta, where I work alongside my wife, Tracy. Together, we developed the Upside Down Divorce® process after years of supporting individuals and couples through divorce and recognizing that there had to be a more constructive way to end a marriage.
My primary specialty is couples counseling, with a particular focus on helping partners navigate the transition from marriage to separation with clarity, respect, and intention. Over the years, I’ve served as Board President of the Collaborative Law Institute of Georgia and have been actively involved with both Divorcetown and the Amicable Divorce Network.
Through these experiences—and the many stories my clients have trusted me with—I’ve developed a deep commitment to helping couples approach divorce in a healthier, more thoughtful way. I also share this perspective in my book, Rethinking Divorce.
If you’re looking for a more respectful and constructive path forward—one that reduces emotional and financial strain and minimizes unnecessary legal conflict—the Upside Down Divorce® process may offer a better alternative.
Read Andrew’s full profile →
Tracy McConaghie, LCSW, RPT/S
Co-Creator, Upside Down Divorce®
In my career of over 3 decades, it has been my joy to help and support children and parents through the difficulties of life, including divorce. Watching the long-lasting cost of the destructive divorces so many of those families went through was part of the inspiration for the Upside Down Divorce® process Andrew and I created.
This process is a passion for me because I believe so deeply it is the way to have a healthy divorce and healthier family post divorce. The ripple effects of this over the years are profound. Ending a marriage or long-term relationship is hard, but it can also be a choice for more peace and satisfaction in life, and this benefits everyone, especially children.
We are so glad there is a better way to divorce with respect and solutions that puts children first. We welcome the opportunity to help you, too!
Read Tracy’s full profile →
Crystal Bradshaw, LPC, NCC
Upside Down Divorce® Practitioner
Since 2011, I have worked closely with couples as a therapist, helping them strengthen communication, navigate conflict, and move through some of life’s most personal and challenging seasons. That work has given me a deep respect for the complexity of relationships and has shown me that, even in times of change, people are capable of approaching one another with clarity, compassion, and care.
My experience supporting couples naturally informs the way I approach divorce. I understand that this process is not only a legal transition, but also an emotional and family transition. My goal is to help couples move through it in a way that feels thoughtful, constructive, and grounded in what matters most to them.
What I value most about the Upside Down Divorce® process is its emphasis on collaboration. Couples are encouraged to work together to create the best possible path forward for their family. This approach can reduce unnecessary stress, support healthier communication, and keep the focus on long-term well-being.
This means keeping children at the center of the conversation in a steady and intentional way. I believe children benefit when the adults in their lives make decisions with care, consistency, and a commitment to their well-being. Together, parents can create a practical, personalized parenting plan that reflects their family’s unique needs and supports their future as a co-parenting team.
At the heart of my work is the belief that families deserve support that is both compassionate and effective. Whether a couple is working to strengthen their relationship or navigate its transition with dignity, I strive to offer guidance that is calm, respectful, and centered on meaningful outcomes. It is an honor to help people move forward with greater understanding, stronger communication, and a clearer sense of what comes next.
Read Crystal’s full profile →Ready to talk with one of us about your family?
Schedule an AppointmentFAQs
The process
How long does an alternative divorce take?
Most families complete the process in 3-6 months.
What if we can’t agree?
That’s why we’re here. The experts in the process are skilled at helping families work through difficult conflicts. Your Parenting Plan is built for when things get hard, so you have clear ground rules, not ongoing battles.
Why not just do it ourselves?
There are a number of complicated decisions to make that need to be made with professional guidance, especially when couples are going through the emotions and stress of a divorce. Also, most people have not created a parenting plan before and don’t understand how to do it correctly – it would be like trying to draft your own will or another type of legal contract.
What if my ex isn’t honest about money?
Our financial partners ensure full transparency by collecting documents and building trust through a structured, neutral process.
Cost & logistics
What’s included in the $4,000 flat fee, and what costs extra?
The $4,000 fee covers six (6) sessions to create your parenting plan, address talking with the children about divorce, and handle any upcoming co-parenting issues. This also includes the time it will take your practitioner to draft your parenting plan. You can add additional 50-minute sessions, if needed, at the rate of $500 each.
Why are the financial and legal partner fees separate, and what do they cover?
Our financial and legal partners are outside of our practice and charge their own fees. The financial specialist will work with you to draft your financial settlement. The attorneys will review your final parenting and financial documents, suggest any legal edits, and then file them with the court.
Do you offer payment plans, and who typically pays — one spouse or both?
We do not offer payment plans. Each couple decides for themselves how they would like to handle the payment.
Do you accept insurance for this?
We are not on any insurance plans. However, this work is clinical in nature and you can file it with your insurance as family therapy for any out-of-network benefits you may have.
Can we do the whole process virtually, or do we need to come to the Alpharetta office?
You can complete the process virtually from anywhere in the world. However, if you live outside of Georgia, you will not be able to submit it to your health insurance.
Legal
Is an Upside Down Divorce® legally binding in Georgia?
Yes. After completing the Upside Down Divorce® process, your attorney will legally file your documents in Georgia.
Do we still need lawyers, and do we each need our own?
Yes, lawyers are necessary to legalize your divorce. You can choose one attorney, but according to their ethics, they will formally only represent one person, even though they are familiar with our process and will strive to be neutral. Due to this, you may wish to have an additional attorney look at the documents.
How is this different from mediation? From collaborative divorce?
In mediation, each person has an attorney and there is a third attorney who acts as mediator. Typically each person and their attorney will remain in separate rooms and the mediator goes back and forth. This is highly expensive, as there are three attorneys’ fees for several hours. By contrast, in an Upside Down Divorce® you work together with your neutral parenting plan specialist and have the opportunity to craft your parenting plan together, and then with your neutral financial specialist to craft your financial agreement. Collaborative divorce shares the values of the Upside Down Divorce® but normally uses a full team of professionals (i.e., 2 attorneys, 2 coaches, 1 child specialist, and 1 financial specialist) rather than just one parenting plan specialist, one financial specialist, and minimal attorney involvement.
Do we have to file anything with the court ourselves?
No, you do not. The attorney(s) will do that for you.
Suitability & objections
What if my spouse won’t agree to try this?
The Upside Down Divorce® does require the commitment and agreement of both of you. You could encourage your spouse to schedule a meeting alone with the parenting plan specialist to get all of their questions and concerns addressed.
What if there’s been infidelity — can we still do this?
Yes. Infidelity does not mean you cannot have a collaborative, solution-focused Upside Down Divorce®. Many of the couples we work with have experienced infidelity, and it is helpful to have professionals who are skilled and understand this issue.
What if we’re not sure we’re actually getting divorced yet?
Come in for a session to consult about your situation and the therapist will help you formulate a plan, such as discernment counseling, to help you make the best decision for you.
Can we use this if we were never married but have children together?
Yes. You will still need a parenting plan, and the Upside Down Divorce® is the best way to create this.
What if one of us has significantly more income or assets?
Your financial professional will help you find solutions that are respectful and fair for the whole family.
Children & aftermath
How and when do we tell our children?
This depends upon a lot of factors. We will advise you about this once we learn more about your family. For general guidance, you can read Tracy McConaghie’s two-part article on our blog: Talking to Children About Divorce: Part 1 and Part 2.
What if our parenting plan stops working a year from now — can we change it?
Yes. Families change; children grow and their needs change. We encourage all of our clients to adapt when those changes happen. It is best for couples to have check-ins with their Upside Down Divorce® parenting plan specialist after their divorce to address co-parenting needs and any wishes to adjust the plan.
Do the children ever meet with a therapist as part of this?
This is available — our practice has several skilled child therapists with lots of experience with divorce. If you are concerned with your child’s adjustment, you can always schedule a time with one of them. Your Upside Down Divorce® parenting plan specialist can also consult with you regarding whether or not this is needed.
Still have a question we haven’t answered here?
Schedule an Appointment“I used to think divorce had to be ugly. Upside Down Divorce® proved me wrong.”
— Former Upside Down Divorce® Client
Free Alternative Divorce Resources
How to Talk to Your Kids About Divorce
Give your children a clear, loving message—right from the start.
Become an Upside Down Divorce® Practitioner
Are you a mental health professional interested in being an Upside Down Divorce® provider? Contact Andrew for more information about training.
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